I’ve never been one to vent on social media, but in light of recent events and situations, I feel like it’s best for me to get everything off my chest. As well as getting it all off my chest, I feel the need to let women know who are dealing with the same thing that I am, that you are strong enough to get out and move on to a better life.
My ex and I dated for a little over a year, and I moved in with him about six months in. Everything seemed fine in the beginning, but there were signs of his controlling, manipulative, jealousy ways. In a way, I thought maybe he would change these ways for me, but in the end it ended up turning into a total nightmare and catastrophe.
There were nights he would come home on his drunken rampages and say the worst things to me anyone has ever said. He called me fat, told me I was ugly, he made fun of what I wanted to do for a career, and called me names that are inappropriate to even post. I knew I had to get out, but then he would just manipulate me into staying and told me he would change and that he never meant any of those things.
BUT YOU SAID THEM.
And I will NEVER forget those hurtful and awful things you said to me.
We would be out, rather it be at a company party or just hanging with friends, and if I talked to a guy a certain way, or he thought I looked at them a certain way, I immediately wanted them and was disrespecting him and “acting like a whore.” I will never forget the night when he came home furious because I didn’t answer the phone (I was in bed watching a movie with my phone on silent) and he accused me of having another guy there and ripped the lamps out of the wall and threw them across the room. There would be nights where I would drive around, tears in my eyes, because he had kicked me out and told me to “move on.”
Well guess what, I have. I had ENOUGH!
A part of me wishes that I had never met the guy… A part of me is kicking myself in the ass for sticking around as long as I did. But what is done is done, and in the end it’s only going to make me a stronger person.
So, to all my women out there who have ever dealt with or are dealing with something similar to my situation– you ARE beautiful, you ARE smart, you CAN achieve your goals, and don’t you ever let someone else’s insecurities tell you otherwise. People who treat other people that way and have to bring them down, are fighting demons within themselves and need serious help. NO ONE no matter what the circumstances are, should EVER talk to or treat anyone this way. It’s disgusting and no one deserves it, and you CAN get out of it!
I’m so thankful that I had my wonderful family and friends there to support me through all of this. While he hasn’t seemed to let go of it all, I have finally escaped and know that it will only get better here on out.